Golfito

Golfito

Today David and got done early and decided to break away from our stressful routine.  “How aboutminiature golf.  “ What about miniature

golf?”  Was my response trying to postpone an answer.  The truth was that as much as needed a break and some relaxation, I was tired, brain-dead and had a dirty kitchen to clean!

“I thought that we could go play and get away for a while, how about it?”  “Ok, after I do the dishes.” An hour later I ran upstairs, lathered my faced with sun block grabbed a hat and off we were.

I had not played miniature golf in over twenty years.  It was fun to be out here in this course with David.  I love his sense of humor.  I started to feel carefree.  The memories started to flood my mind and soon I was on the take off mode of my time machine.  I was speeding fast to Miami 40 years ago, to a time of very little responsibility and a lot of fun things to do. I couldn’t wait to arrive there if only in this state of time travel.  It was summer Miami was hot, humid and irresistible.  Our routine was simple, sleep in, eat lots of great Cuban food, hit the beach daily, cruise Miami Beach at night, Pool Hop the fancy Hotels on the strip, go to the skating rink, and of course to play golfito ( little golf) or what Cuban in exile called miniature golf.

We went out together my cousins (Mirita ,Vivian, Charlie ( Now Carlos and Mirita’s husband of  39 years)  My brother, my sister and I.  We were a close-knit group.  We were each other’s best friends.  We had a curfew of midnight. We were never ready to go home at that time so what do 5 Cuban kids in Miami do to solve the problem?  Drive home and pick up abuela (our 73-year-old grandmother) who was a 4’ 11” fireball full of life.  She would get dressed and drive off with us to some restaurant that stayed open all night and have a late night or early morning snack.   In the morning she would always be up and have breakfast ready before we would even crack an eye open.   Many a time, she would join us on our trek to Miami Beach where she would find some shade and watch as we baked in the sun.  There were the nights that we would skip the golfito and

pile the six of us plus 3 or 4 friends in a car and go to the drive in.  One of those nights we had kids in the trunk, one under a blanket in the back seat and the rest pile in between.  It is a wonder that someone did not suffocate and die!  I am not sure if that was the night that we got caught and “asked to leave”.  I have to add that this did not deter us.  We regrouped and somehow went back in undetected!

But golfito, to me is the symbol of our summers in Miami.  Golfito is Mirita, Vivian, Charlie, Marilu and Pepe and the symbol of carefree times of love and friendship and innocence.  Golfito is the symbol of the emotional freedom that was our youth.

My time machine landed by a Tropical Snow Stand ( snow cones stand).   David and I sat and ate our coconut shaved ice as I gently left my youth behind with faint feel of the tropical breezes of years past.

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

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Where  I come from there really isn’t a time that you await the arrival of the first hummingbird.  They are just there.  There is the time of year in which you have additional “winter visitors” but I never had to hold my breath for that first visit of the year.

Here in Idaho, that is just not the case and this year after much hope and many much preparation and expectation May 6th was the day.

I don’t have to say what an event it was.  This little jewel on wings gladdened my heart and sprung me forward with more resolve to make my yard his summer hang out.  Hummers have a way of making the world a better place, they are just a marvel.

This propelled me to pull out my pots that I have had in storage, the ones that I have collected and kept and added to for years.  I can’t ever have enough pots. Each pot has a story, each has a past, some have scar that have only added character and charm.  Some are quirky and while others are elegant.  They all have a style of their own, beauty and even a personality.

With this excitement and my pots in tow I set out to plant  a garden.  I ran down to my favorite nursery and selected mostly annuals to compliment the plants that had over wintered in my garage and house.  This year this will have to do.  We are in a rental so my garden will be a mobile one.

It is quite simple really, a small table and two chairs, a fire pit, a small fountain that I had, a couple of bird baths, a few finch and hummingbird feeders, begonias, petunias,lobelia,impatient and two baskets of fuchsia dripping with bell-like blooms. They remind me of a gypsy’s earrings with magnetic attraction to the hummers and butterflies.

If you find your self with and empty nest, or with a desire for tranquility bloom where you are planted.  Plant a garden.  There is something cleansing , healing, strengthening and peaceful about a garden.  The Creations setting was a garden.  Maybe your garden will be a couple of indoor plants, or a couple of pretty pots outside, maybe chimes and a small fountains. A garden is  just your own creation and definition of it planted by  you.

Meanwhile, I am headed outside as the day cools to water my flowers and listen to the tinkling of my chimes, and gives thanks for the moment and the gift of a garden.

Empty Nest or Remodeled Nest?

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Visit With Tatum

 

 

As a mother of grown children with children of their own I am on the road a lot. David and I have seven children. This is a case of yours and mine and our Yorkie makes ours. His are mine and mine are his. We share 7 grandchildren and one on the way, this makes for a full, active and exciting sometimes very tiring life. In March I got a phone call from my daughter that lives in the bay area. Can you make it to Tatum’s birthday party? Can we, was my inquiry to my husband David? “Tatum wants us at her 4th birthday party”, I added. There was no hesitation on his part of course we would be there. We got semi weekly phone calls from Tatum asking if we were coming, the answer always yes,( this did not deter her from having Mom call again two days later).

A few Days after the call from Tatum, our daughter in law in Oregon ( expecting her first child and our 8th grandchild) announces that they are having baby shower and want everyone to come. Can we make it. Can we make it, once again was my inquiry to David. Yes, was the answer. Two weekends in May, each an 8 to 9 hour drive. We are busy and are on the road a lot but our priorities are always our children and those precious grandchildren.

We made the trip to Tatum undeterred by s snow storm ( yes in May)at Donner’s pass. A special treat was the reward our daughter Brooke and her little Paisley were there too. Two daughters and 4 of the 7 grandchildren, we played, sang to Tatum, had great shiskabobs, and took trip into the city ( San Fran).

I believe that being a grandmother is my reward from god for having been a parent, it is His way of not letting our nest go completely empty. It is one of the wonders of life. The love we had for our children is given an opportunity to once again reign in your heart. But this time it can be given without the burden of the responsibilities. This time it comes with new wisdom, the wisdom that recognizes that they like plants in a garden are there for you to nurture for a just a little while. The time is short for you to enjoy the joy and beauty of their childhood. Play, love nurture and send them home. So is the life of not so much an empty nest Mom. I have to refer to our empty nest as not empty but a nest of a new design.

I Feel Pretty, Oh! So Pretty!

I had to go to a baby shower. A baby showers an 8 hour drive away. I knew six weeks before that it was coming. We made the commitment to go the day that our daughter in-law, Sally announced it.

On that day I made an announcement of my own: “I am going on a diet!” I had six weeks to lose some of the pounds that I have packed on this past year.  I was confident that I could make a dent by losing at least ten of them. That would be good, right?  That would make me one dress size smaller and it would make me feel better.

Not only did I not lose ten pounds but in fact “found” some pounds wandering out there looking for a good home.  Somehow those pounds knew that they would have “stability” here, no hurry to throw them out.  The week of the shower came and found me in a panic.  I did not have anything to wear, nothing fit.   Shopping was going to be a night mare.  There is nothing like the department store mirrors for a dose of hard reality!  They have ways of revealing parts of your body that you did not know you had!  They are experts at revealing the unpleasant.

I must have whined enough that David gallantly volunteered to go and “assist” me on this dreaded and daunting mission.  I don’t have to tell you what the pros and con of taking your husband shopping when you are feeling like Mama Cass (RIP). I humbly accepted.

This all brought me to some hard and serious thoughts, why did I let myself get this out of control, and secondly, getting back in shape is not going to be easy. I have had two back surgeries and one shoulder surgery but in addition to that I have serious neck injuries and my back has been reinjured.  These physical limitations make it hard to maintain a consistent exercise program. Sometimes they have been painful obstacles that have contributed to my physical demise, sometimes they have been trusted allies by providing me with a good excuse for my weight gain and lack of fitness.   As these thoughts flooded my mind; I had a surge of self-awareness. I have been hiding behind these pounds; After all I am a grandma, I am happy and David loves me like I am.

I was stunned as the next thought thumped me on the brain.  My health, my fitness and the beauty of my body is one of the sacred responsibilities that I have on this earth.  I believe that I have been given gifts, talent and blessings by a Father in Heaven.  My body is one of the principle gifts.  My impertinent mind demanded, “Are you going to be held accountable with what you have done with it?  Will you be able to say that you took care of it, and fed it right and kept things in moderation?  Are you going to present him with a body that you cherished or one that is distorted because of all the food that you have piled in it?

Not everyone feels this accountability to a higher being but we are accountable to our bodies; whether we believe this or not.  Our bodies will take our love or abuse and they will respond accordingly.  The old saying you are what we eat never seemed more true to me.  Just then, David said something and brought me to the present,  “Talbots, Chico’s or Ann Taylor?”  I responded with the enthusiasm of a man going to the gallows, “let’s just see what each has to offer”.

I was back to reality with thoughts of clothes, accessories and shopping but the awareness of my body stayed with me.  A little sadness crept in.  I have dieted and exercised as long as I can remember.   In my youth I participated and won two beauty contests.  As an adult, I adhered strictly to a “Health Nut” life style; yet I have never felt comfortable with my body.  I have spent a lot of energy criticizing and trying to hide my body and what I have been given.  I have never been satisfied.  My body has always been a project in progress.

Somehow, however, these thoughts have made me feel love and compassion for my poor body.  It has never received comfort and gratitude from me.  I felt grateful.  I realized that I have never appreciated the great gift it is.  That moment I had a confidence that I have never felt.  I think that David helped me with this awareness of the almost disdain I have felt for my body when he pulled out the video of our wedding night in Miami.  “Look, Ili look how beautiful you are”,  and so begin a different paradigm.

I am now, eating for health and beauty ( once again) but I can honestly say that I have never approached it from this angle: a body given to me by God; one that I expect to serve me for many more years.  I am expecting for this body to serve me.   Now I have been reminded that in order for my body provide me energy, stamina and strength, pleasure, beauty and happiness as I continue to age, I have to take care and nurture it.   It has not only promised me that it will bring me pain, discomfort, and misery if I don’t spend a little time and a little love denying it some of the pleasures of the palette that it relishes; but in fact, I have had a small preview.

I, for the first time appreciate what this body of mine is today, faults and all.  I am accepting it and pouring out the love and care that it has always deserved.  I am enjoying walking around and feeling loved, loved by me.  Funny all of a sudden without losing one more pound I feel pretty.

I bought my outfit, I picked out just the right earrings and the right shoes and off I went feeling gorgeous and glamorous.

One Enchanted Evening!

Just For This Afternoon

 

I wrote this about thirteen years ago after devastating back surgery ( which kept me  a complete bedridden for 7 months and house bound for a year.  This was followed by another six months of convalescing before going in for a second surgery to remove all the metal nuts, bolts and plates in my back.  I lived in the Palm Springs, California area at the time.

I found it as I was going through my stored items as I decided to purge and unclutter.  As I re read it reminded me of the challenges that I faced and over came those years ago.  Maybe this could help someone who might read this look around and find something wonderous and beautiful in  their lives that can bring them joy and hope and peace.  Perhaps it wont be a hummingbird, or a butterfly or an old rose-bush but it might be something that for you can transcend the burden of today.

I walked out into my yard today thoughtful, aching for
communion with my universe, and yearning for peace and solace.  As I did so, a little lively and cheerful
creature greeted me: a hummingbird. The sight of his little face touched my
soul and brought deep sigh.

It’s funny because my yard is a disaster, something similar
to the after math of a battlefield.  You
can see the remains of the trees that once stood nurtured and groomed now
displaying the scars of the neglect of the last few years, and the harshness of
the desert sun.

The hummingbird flew off as I stood there pondering.  I continued to water the tree that I was
trying to revive.  This seemed symbolic
almost a metaphor for my life.

Then I noticed the roses on the old steadfast bush, and
heard the music of the chimes hanging from porch.  I was reminded of the beauty and sweetness I
have ignored and taken for granted.

I found another corner of my deserted and arid back yard to
water, revive ad nurture.  Is there,
perhaps, another metaphor in this?

I found hope and joy even if it is just for this
afternoon.  Still standing frozen where I
was I gave thank to the Father for this moment and for this place.  Just then, a colorful butterfly fluttered
passed me with the wings of hope.

HAPPY 8 YEARS OLD TO BROOKER!!!

 

Okay today is another exception to not posting till I am done with the move. 

 

Today is  the 9Th of January.

 

 Eight years ago today a very special and extraordinary and WONDERFUL baby girl  was born.   

This special girl is Brooke Nicole Searles our granddaughter-I am not Brooker’s blood grandma , but I want Brooker to know that being a Grandma is not always about “blood” relations it is about LOVE.  It is about love and giving and receiving-So Brookie I am your granma by love!!  You are one of my special girls and Papa’s oldest granddaughter!!

Brooke the one that  brings sunshine into our lives even when the sun is gone, the one whose wit and sense of humor keep us in stitches. When we went fishing this summer after fishing all day, the only person that caught fish was me. Riding in the truck on the way to the camp ground, I said, “I am really tired”.  Brooke quickly and with a gleam in her eye responded, “It must be from catching so many fish!!!!”  What  a wit!!

You have the most intoxicating and wonderful laugh-I just have to laugh out loud and smile in my heart when you grace my day with your laugh.   

Brookie, the  one that is an optimist, Brooke always sees the positive side of everything and makes sure there is no gloom when she is around.  Her Papa Dave has a little box that she gave him reminding him that her love is in that box.  And she is serious about this..when we tell her how sad we will be when she leaves us after her visit; she pulls the little box out and reminds us of her promise.  And she is so sincere about it.  Brookie we have to hold that box and hold it close to our heart a lot, because we miss you so much.  Papa Dave loves you.

Brooke, the one that loves stuff toys, kittens and dogs.  Brookie the great fisherman-to be poltitically correct, fisherperson.  She caught a big fish this summer on Papa’s boat.

 She has loved me unconditionally and that has filled my heart with love and joy.  I love you Brooke.  I love playing games with you Brooker.  I love playing with the penguin, polar bear and princess with you. I love dancing and making up dances.  You are a good dancer.   Your laugh just makes it not just fun but  hillarious!!!

 Brooke, the day that you were born your Mom became a Mother and she and you will be learning together and figuring it out together.  You were her gift.  But remember that you were a gift that did not come with instruction just with lots of love.  So Mommy is doing her very best that she can to be a good Mommy and a good friend.  She loves you.  That same day your Daddy became a father.  He loves you.

The day that you were born your Granma Val and your Papa Rick,  became  grandparents.  They love you.

The day that you were born you changed everyone’s lives.  They all love you, the bright sunshine in al our lives.

I read a saying that says:  God gave us memories so that we can have June roses in December..”  But I say: God gave us Brooker so that we can have Wonderful Memories every day.

Feliz Cumpleanos, ” That’s how they say it in Spain. “Frohlicher Geburtstag, ” In German it means the same. “Gratulerer med magen, ” Norwegians say it too. … But any way you say it is HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKIE.    WE LOVE YOU!!

(click on the pictures to enlarge)

 

We are number 1

Brooke’s first Fish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Trent

 

I had decided that I was not going to post, write or work on my websites until I am done with my move.

January 7Th compels me to come back to my computer and write the following thoughts-which I had planned for a later time-to my son in law/son Trent Home.  Today Trent celebrates a birthday.  Happy Birthday dear Trent and bear with us as I attempt to tell the world what a great son, husband and father you are.  

Trent  and his  bright smile, sense of humor, wit, open mind and quiet loving way have brought joy, light and happiness into my life. 

He opened his home to me and  was literally a saving grace at a time that sadness, pain and heartbreak abounded.  He not only shared his home -which  was a place of refuge -but, also, his wife-my daughter. 

He unselfishly and with extreme patience, I might add, put up with my relentless crying and talking-that by itself makes him an angel.   And this took an angel or at least someone with perseverence.

He shared his garden with me, cooked breakfast for me and-much to my discomfort-  would not take no for an answer on his request that I join the family on any and all “activity” and “tradition” they had, when I just wanted to hide out in my room.  How many men do you know that instead of trying to avoid their mother in law insist that she join them?

Trent is someone that always looks at life  with an optimistic-glass half full  point of view.   He, for the most part, is pretty cheerful and upbeat.  The exception to this cheerful and friendly disposition being when he succumbs to his compulsion of vacuuming-carpet already vacuumed- or feverishly wiping kitchen counters already wiped by me, or picking up the one toy that was missed during the clean up.   Actually during , this ,this cleaning frenzy-we are the only uncheerful ones- he is perfectly  happy doing this.   It is the rest of us that need a new coping tool for this behavior or maybe a xanax or two.

  I love Trent not just because he is a good husband and he loves and takes care of my daughter or  because he has earned his children’s adoration-Jaden and Madisen fight over a (if might might say, an unflattering and Goofy) picture of Trent that is taped to the wall on Madisen’s bed.  I have had to comfort Jaden in his complete despair and despondency after losing the rights to that goofy picture-but because he, also, has loved and has a soft heart for Gavin, treats Brooke like a sister he never had, and has taken my son in a brother.  

Trent is a real morning person 7 a.m. is the middle of the afternoon at the Homecs.  That being the case I have been up by 6 A.M. to partake of freshly made veggie juice at out “juice party”-Juice that Trent has extracted with his jack La lane Juicer.  Now, remember I am the mother-in law-do you know any men that invite their mother in law to join them to  ”party” at the crack of dawn? 

Trent has been a loving and giving son to his parents.  He has equally been there for me.  There was a time that they had both-he and Audry- their mothers at their place along with the melodrama and theatrics packed in their baggage.

There is an old Irish poem that says: “     “A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.””  but in the case of Trent he became my son first by he marrying my daughter, then by just being a son.

Thank you Trent..Happy Birthday

Happy Monday, Happy 09

It’s the 5Th you say?  And you would be right. 

 

But here  at the Phoenix it is the first day of the New Year.  The first day that we get down to business that is. 

 

I am sure that most of us grumpily face the first day back.  Mom’s cheerfully sent the kids off to school but it, also means to get to busy themselves.  Dad’s face the office but they, also, get a brake from being responsible for entertaining the kids.  And I am not really posting anything meaningful-because I am losing my mind over the blog.  I am trying to launch one of my websites and I am packing up my house to move.  When the packing is done, we are heading to North County San Diego and from there we will head to Interstate 10 all the way to Florida.

But I will be posting and hope that you will be back…

 

I invite you all to check my article pages on the top of the page and to come back here daily to see what might be on at the Phoenix Journey.

I will keep it simple today and share with you Five Simple Rules for Happiness-I read it on someones desk and thought that it was worth making note of it.

 

I.  Free Your Heart From Hatred

II.  Free Your Mind From Worries

III.  Live Simply

IV.  Give More

VI. Expect Less